Help! “Old” Man Needs Gas Money for New Toy

By: Travis Naughton

Last week, I procured an automobile that sits at the top of the bucket lists of many red-blooded American car enthusiasts such as myself, a Chevrolet Corvette. I can already declare with absolute certainty, that it is impossible to drive a Corvette with a frown on your face. But don’t just take my word for it. Try it for yourself sometime. I have already heard from a few comedians who joked that I must be experiencing a midlife crisis. How else can you explain why a 50-year-old grandfather would waste his money on such a frivolous toy that uses expensive 93 octane gas? If that’s the case, then I can only say that I must be dealing with the longest midlife crisis in history, dating all the way back to my first “just-for-kicks” vehicle purchase, a 1991 Pontiac Sunbird convertible that I bought in 1995. Since then, I’ve owned three 1957 Chevy Bel Airs, two Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptors, three antique trucks that I used exclusively for hosting tailgate parties at Mizzou football games, two early 1970s Chevy trucks that just looked cool, a 1965 Oldsmobile 442, a 1965 Chevy Impala lawn ornament, and a 426-horsepower, 6-speed 2010 Chevy Camaro SS. Every one of them frivolous and completely unnecessary. Will this midlife crisis ever end?! I hope not.

See more in this weeks Boone County Journal