SAVING GRACE: Southern Boone veteran found healing in family after Korean War

By: Tara Wren Blue
Upon a recent visit to one of Southern Boone’s senior facilities, I met a Korean War veteran at a community event. He was pleased to learn that I knew his son from around town, and after a warm conversation, I requested permission to return at a later date to interview him about his military service time.

He agreed, but he requested to remain anonymous, partly because he didn’t want to reflect poorly on his family and in humility, didn’t think his name was important to his story.

I returned shortly thereafter, eager to hear of a life well-lived. He welcomed me into his living space, where images of tranquility adorned the walls.

Born in Springfield, Illinois, this Korean War veteran’s early life was marked by adversity, as was most who were born and raised in the Great Depression era. He and his six siblings endured physical abuse and neglect from their father, who hoarded money.

“My father didn’t hate us kids, but it seemed like he didn’t care for us. He never bought me a single thing my whole life. There was no love in our household.”

Despite the harsh conditions, he found comfort in the care of his maternal grandmother, one of the few figures who showed him kindness.

“Grandma was always good to us kids,” he reflected. “I know she loved us.”

He left school in the ninth grade and began working young, taking jobs as a golf caddie and a pinsetter at a bowling alley alongside his older brother. Both became skilled golfers and pool players.

At just 17 years old, he enlisted in the U.S. Army in July, 1949. He completed basic training at Fort Chaffee, Arkansas, and advanced training at Fort Bliss, Texas, before being deployed to Korea. His older brother joined the army a few months after him.

“The (Korean) War started in June 1950. I was on Korean waters in August and I first experienced combat on Sep. 15th.” After skipping broadly over early details of his life, I was surprised to hear him recount the exact day 75 years ago that he first engaged in battle.

Research shows that human minds tend to more vividly remember traumatic experiences, and more commonly “re-experience” symptoms associated with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (Strange & Takarangi, 2015).

As a person who has witnessed the healing power of veterans sharing traumatic wartime experiences, I carefully offered the distance in between us as a safe space to say anything he felt inclined to share about his combat-related trauma.

He politely declined.

“Some things are better left in the dark,” he remarked.

It was as if speaking about such horror would somehow make it real again and bring it back to life. Even after all these years, the wounds still threaten to re-surface.

He served in Korea for 17 months in a tank unit that provided artillery support for the 1st Marine Division. After returning to the U.S. and receiving an honorable discharge on September 22, 1952, he struggled with severe PTSD that affected his ability to work and maintain relationships.

“When I came back, it was bad news playing in my head. Sinister things were sitting on my shoulders and it weighed me down. I couldn’t shake it off.”

He married his wife in 1954 and although they stayed together 21 years, he admitted to verbally mistreating her early in their marriage—an overflow of the emotional toll that war had taken on him.

Him and his wife “ran off together” and had four children, and it became apparent by the way his face lit up when he spoke of them that his children were his saving grace.

“My kids and I were always together when they were little.” He says his children and he were very close and enjoyed doing everything together.

Where love seemed lost in the early years of his life, he found it in being a father.

Over the years, he lived in Illinois, Missouri, Indiana, and Texas, working primarily in office and warehouse roles, where his organizational and leadership skills served him well. He says he enjoyed watching his children grow up and have their own kids and proudly shared with me where they live and what they do.

In the past few years, his says health has declined and he has lived in assisted living in Indiana before moving to Missouri to be near his son. He says his son has been a blessing and gives him more than he could ask for.

“I don’t know why he does so much for me. He’s just a good person with a good heart,” he affectionately speaks of his son.

He remains close with all his children and happily reports that they’re doing well in life.

His wife passed away last year on June 4, 2024, at the age of 86 and although they weren’t married anymore, he keeps a picture of her close by.

Despite a life shaped by hardship and deprivation, he says it all taught him how to appreciate and embrace the good later on. I got the impression that he doesn’t want anyone feeling sorry for him.

The resilience of our elder veteran generation never ceases to amaze and inspire. Thank you to this gentleman for sharing his story with me.

May all our struggling veterans find their saving grace.

In memoriam of all who lose to war.